Ok last night we went out of town and spent time with my slave. We had dinner and then went to our room. It was very much a bdsm night. Mistress and slave in their true roles. It was sensual, honest and hot. We spent time kissing and holding each other, but he knows at any time I will put him in to his slave place.
While kissing I moved my hand to his chest and pinched his nipple when he least expected it. Then I kissed down his neck and down to his chest and bit his nipples sending him into total submission. Then I kissed him some more and had him get onto his kness while I placed the harshed clamps on him. I have never been this harsh with him, and while yet painful we have never been closer. I made him worship my feet while wearing the clamps. I kissed him and started pulling on the chain and looking into his eyes and when he least expected it I unclamped him.
For a while he thought I was a softie and was surprised that I have started to be so harsh. I opened up and explained how I have been afraid to give it my all knowing I may not ever be able to be able to be with him fully. But now things are different and he is free and I feel like I can give it my all. After explaining all this, I picked up the brand new whip he bought for us. You could smell the leather and feel the stiffness of it knowning it had never been used. I gave him ten lashes, striping his back and reminding him of his slave place. After I was done I kissed his back and lash marks, knowing that the other mistress never gave or showed him this much love.
We spent the rest of our time in embrace and kiss, knowing we have the best combination of bdsm and vanilla, and last night we grew closer and moved forward.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A long road
It has been a long while since I blogged, and for those of you who enjoy reading my blog I am sorry for being behind.
There has been a lot of new developments in my relationship that I write so fondly about. The first being that my slave, my love has left his wife. He is getting a divorce. While this is good news in the long run, it has been very difficult and trying on my patience; and if you know me at all you will know that it is not one of my strong suits. When things started moving along for us, things started falling apart for him at home. I hate that he is going through so much stress in his life, and yes my reasons are selfish. It meant that when all this drama first started happening, I did not get to spend the time with him that I would have liked. There were times I would get text messages saying "Don't call or text until I call you", When hours would pass with out me hearing from him, I would start to go stir crazy, wondering what was happening, wondering if everything was okay. That is the nurturing, mothering side of me coming out.
Finally this past week, I think things are finally settling down for him. He is no longer living with this hateful witch of a wife, he has removed his belongings from their home, and has gotten back to a normal work schedule...well sort of. I could not be more thankful for this, because I have missed him, and the time that we have spent together in the past weeks has been brief vanilla meetings, like having dinner; Not that those are bad, but our Mistress/slave relationship was falling by the wayside.
Last night we were able to talk on the phone, un-interrupted for over two hours, it was wonderful. We talked about little things, like how we both love pulpy orange juice, something I have not been able to buy in 6 years because someone in my house hates it with a passion. We talked about vanilla things, like how he says I'm not as liberal as I think I am. To which I laugh, and tell him he can spend the rest of his life trying to convince me I am not. We talked about serious things, we talked about BDSM things, like where we see our relationship going, as it is so unique because it is the best of both worlds, intertwined. He speaks of his devotion to me, and how he wants to sign a lifetime slave contract. I think it will be a beautiful moment for us when that happens.
We talked about how I want to grow as a Mistress, and be more dominant, more harsh when it is needed. How I need to think like a Mistress sometimes and not a girlfriend. And after our last few days of conversation, I finally feel like things are headed in the right direction. Like we are moving forward again.
For now this is all, I will blog again in a bit but I have a couple of online tests to take.
There has been a lot of new developments in my relationship that I write so fondly about. The first being that my slave, my love has left his wife. He is getting a divorce. While this is good news in the long run, it has been very difficult and trying on my patience; and if you know me at all you will know that it is not one of my strong suits. When things started moving along for us, things started falling apart for him at home. I hate that he is going through so much stress in his life, and yes my reasons are selfish. It meant that when all this drama first started happening, I did not get to spend the time with him that I would have liked. There were times I would get text messages saying "Don't call or text until I call you", When hours would pass with out me hearing from him, I would start to go stir crazy, wondering what was happening, wondering if everything was okay. That is the nurturing, mothering side of me coming out.
Finally this past week, I think things are finally settling down for him. He is no longer living with this hateful witch of a wife, he has removed his belongings from their home, and has gotten back to a normal work schedule...well sort of. I could not be more thankful for this, because I have missed him, and the time that we have spent together in the past weeks has been brief vanilla meetings, like having dinner; Not that those are bad, but our Mistress/slave relationship was falling by the wayside.
Last night we were able to talk on the phone, un-interrupted for over two hours, it was wonderful. We talked about little things, like how we both love pulpy orange juice, something I have not been able to buy in 6 years because someone in my house hates it with a passion. We talked about vanilla things, like how he says I'm not as liberal as I think I am. To which I laugh, and tell him he can spend the rest of his life trying to convince me I am not. We talked about serious things, we talked about BDSM things, like where we see our relationship going, as it is so unique because it is the best of both worlds, intertwined. He speaks of his devotion to me, and how he wants to sign a lifetime slave contract. I think it will be a beautiful moment for us when that happens.
We talked about how I want to grow as a Mistress, and be more dominant, more harsh when it is needed. How I need to think like a Mistress sometimes and not a girlfriend. And after our last few days of conversation, I finally feel like things are headed in the right direction. Like we are moving forward again.
For now this is all, I will blog again in a bit but I have a couple of online tests to take.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
a long time in between
So yesterday afternoon, my slave picked me up at my house for a little Monday night getaway.We haven't seen each other in a week, and we both know we won't be able to see each other until sometime next week. Talk about a shitty situation.
So we pull away from my apartment, and stop and kiss. It was hard for me to contain myself and behave, but we did, and he started driving. We talked about our day and things that happened, all while holding hands like two young teenagers.
It took about an hour to get to our destination, and he checked into the hotel and we went out for dinner. We were going to go eat Chinese food, but they were "closed on Mondays" WTF? So we found a Mexican place and shared fajitas. Just like last time we went out of town, it was nice knowing that we really didn't know anyone there. After dinner he took me shoe shopping, but my size 11 feet are hard to buy for and we left with nothing, which is okay with me.
***Disclaimer*** There will be some sexual things in the next couple of paragraphs so if it bothers you....STOP READING NOW!
So once back to the hotel room, we start kissing. Every time we see each other there is more and more passion there; it is truly amazing. Now if you have been following this blog, then you know we are not having sex yet. The way we kiss is so different from the way I've ever kissed any other man. In just a short time we have learned each others "hot spots" and know how to use them to our advantage. He knows exactly how to get me excited. Things were getting hot and heavy, well as hot and heavy as they can with out sex, when his phone rang......of course it was his wife. He goes out into the hallway to talk to her, and returns to me.
He asks me about his punishment, and I tell him that the only way he may have an orgasm is if we were to have sex. Part of me knew that this would not make a bit of difference, that we would still NOT have sex, but part of me hoped it would. There were moments last night that I thought, " I can't take this anymore" because he gets me right to that point where I am about to explode and then backs off. I think I can speak for both of us, that it is getting harder and harder for us to hold back and not have sex.
When he said we would have to go home soon, I wanted to cry. I am selfish and greedy and wanted more time. The drive home, I could bear to take my hands off of him, knowing they would not be able to touch him for more than a week. It kills me that I wont get to see him, touch him, smell him, feel him for more than a week.
I long for the April to get here, we are going on a four day trip together. No spouses, no children, no having to be home by a certain time. Just us, for four whole days. I can't wait!!!!!!
So we pull away from my apartment, and stop and kiss. It was hard for me to contain myself and behave, but we did, and he started driving. We talked about our day and things that happened, all while holding hands like two young teenagers.
It took about an hour to get to our destination, and he checked into the hotel and we went out for dinner. We were going to go eat Chinese food, but they were "closed on Mondays" WTF? So we found a Mexican place and shared fajitas. Just like last time we went out of town, it was nice knowing that we really didn't know anyone there. After dinner he took me shoe shopping, but my size 11 feet are hard to buy for and we left with nothing, which is okay with me.
***Disclaimer*** There will be some sexual things in the next couple of paragraphs so if it bothers you....STOP READING NOW!
So once back to the hotel room, we start kissing. Every time we see each other there is more and more passion there; it is truly amazing. Now if you have been following this blog, then you know we are not having sex yet. The way we kiss is so different from the way I've ever kissed any other man. In just a short time we have learned each others "hot spots" and know how to use them to our advantage. He knows exactly how to get me excited. Things were getting hot and heavy, well as hot and heavy as they can with out sex, when his phone rang......of course it was his wife. He goes out into the hallway to talk to her, and returns to me.
He asks me about his punishment, and I tell him that the only way he may have an orgasm is if we were to have sex. Part of me knew that this would not make a bit of difference, that we would still NOT have sex, but part of me hoped it would. There were moments last night that I thought, " I can't take this anymore" because he gets me right to that point where I am about to explode and then backs off. I think I can speak for both of us, that it is getting harder and harder for us to hold back and not have sex.
When he said we would have to go home soon, I wanted to cry. I am selfish and greedy and wanted more time. The drive home, I could bear to take my hands off of him, knowing they would not be able to touch him for more than a week. It kills me that I wont get to see him, touch him, smell him, feel him for more than a week.
I long for the April to get here, we are going on a four day trip together. No spouses, no children, no having to be home by a certain time. Just us, for four whole days. I can't wait!!!!!!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
update from yesterday
I just wanted to update everyone on my blog from yesterday. I talked on the phone with my slave, and we talked for a while about the misunderstanding we had the night before. While I still felt bad, he reassured me that he had no hard feelings about what had happened, and he was not avoiding me but had family around all day and could not talk. He made me feel better and by the end of the conversation he had put a smile on my sad little face.
We talked about how he had gotten "uppity", and not in the good way that I liked. He said "whatever" and that is a very touchy word for me. When it is said a certain way, all I see and hear is a mean, hateful word; something that comes out of my husbands mouth very frequently. As a slave it was totally uncalled for and disrespectful. While I understand that the boyfriend part of him took over, he needs to be reminded that I am not going to be talked to like that. I know for those of you who are not into the lifestyle this sounds totally wrong, and makes me sound like a super bitch. But before we developed our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship we had our Mistress/slave relationship. And in that relationship, I am the boss. What I say goes. So he will be punished. While he will not be whipped, he will be denied from having an orgasm until Friday of this week. That is one week from the offense.
He has planned a little get away for us this spring, and I could not be more excited. To be alone with each other for four whole days will be fantastic. Plus where we are going, I will get to see one of my best friends, which is an added bonus.
My husband thinks I am a psycho, which is always good. Well not really. I yelled at him for being an ass while he was on the phone with one of his girlfriends. So now he flat out refuses to use the phone when I am home. Whatever, they can have him for all I care. And last night when he finally got home, we fought about who he was with. While I know the open marriage was just a big giant band-aid, we had set forth some rules. He mentioned seeing his ex girlfriend. I told him that I was not comfortable with that, but I was not going to tell him who he could and could not see. So last night he went to her house and fucked her. Now he tells me that he loves me, but why would he disrespect my feelings if he loved me? I think it is because he is lying to himself. He does not want to admit that he does not love me. He loves the things I do for him, like cook dinner and clean house and take care of every thing but wiping his ass.
So enough for now, I am going to take a bath and go to bed. Good night all.
We talked about how he had gotten "uppity", and not in the good way that I liked. He said "whatever" and that is a very touchy word for me. When it is said a certain way, all I see and hear is a mean, hateful word; something that comes out of my husbands mouth very frequently. As a slave it was totally uncalled for and disrespectful. While I understand that the boyfriend part of him took over, he needs to be reminded that I am not going to be talked to like that. I know for those of you who are not into the lifestyle this sounds totally wrong, and makes me sound like a super bitch. But before we developed our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship we had our Mistress/slave relationship. And in that relationship, I am the boss. What I say goes. So he will be punished. While he will not be whipped, he will be denied from having an orgasm until Friday of this week. That is one week from the offense.
He has planned a little get away for us this spring, and I could not be more excited. To be alone with each other for four whole days will be fantastic. Plus where we are going, I will get to see one of my best friends, which is an added bonus.
My husband thinks I am a psycho, which is always good. Well not really. I yelled at him for being an ass while he was on the phone with one of his girlfriends. So now he flat out refuses to use the phone when I am home. Whatever, they can have him for all I care. And last night when he finally got home, we fought about who he was with. While I know the open marriage was just a big giant band-aid, we had set forth some rules. He mentioned seeing his ex girlfriend. I told him that I was not comfortable with that, but I was not going to tell him who he could and could not see. So last night he went to her house and fucked her. Now he tells me that he loves me, but why would he disrespect my feelings if he loved me? I think it is because he is lying to himself. He does not want to admit that he does not love me. He loves the things I do for him, like cook dinner and clean house and take care of every thing but wiping his ass.
So enough for now, I am going to take a bath and go to bed. Good night all.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Sadness
Today I feel very lonely. After the little disagreement that my slave and I had yesterday, I feel very distant from him. I know its the weekend and I don't get to hear from him as often as I do during the week; but I just have this sense that something is wrong. It is driving me crazy that I don't know whats wrong.
I just feel alone. Tonight of all nights I am alone. Tears roll down my cheeks as I write. I just want to crawl into bed and curl up and sleep.
I hate this feeling, I want it to stop.
I just feel alone. Tonight of all nights I am alone. Tears roll down my cheeks as I write. I just want to crawl into bed and curl up and sleep.
I hate this feeling, I want it to stop.
A learning experince
I have been in such a toxic relationship for so long, that I am having to re-learn some things. While as a Mistress/slave owner you do not have to answer to anyone, you do as you please and use your slave as you please.
But since my slave and I have both a mistress/slave relationship and a vanilla one, normal rules do not always apply. Last night I went out alone and I decided I wanted to get a tattoo, something on my foot. I would have never thought to get one on my foot before, but I have a new appreciation for my feet and how sexy they are. I thought it would be sexy to get three little stars on my foot. I was being very selfish, doing something that I wanted to do. I did not even think of how it would affect my slave. He begged me to wait until he could come with me. We had our first girlfriend/boyfriend moment, and I felt very bad for upsetting him, and not thinking of him, not thinking that he would want to be with me. I was very selfish and for that I am sorry. But here are some pics.....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
If you like my blog....
My slave, my love was inspired by my blog and decided to create one of his own, if you are interested in reading it here is the link:
http://reflectionsofafootslave.blogspot.com/
http://reflectionsofafootslave.blogspot.com/
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