Ok last night we went out of town and spent time with my slave. We had dinner and then went to our room. It was very much a bdsm night. Mistress and slave in their true roles. It was sensual, honest and hot. We spent time kissing and holding each other, but he knows at any time I will put him in to his slave place.
While kissing I moved my hand to his chest and pinched his nipple when he least expected it. Then I kissed down his neck and down to his chest and bit his nipples sending him into total submission. Then I kissed him some more and had him get onto his kness while I placed the harshed clamps on him. I have never been this harsh with him, and while yet painful we have never been closer. I made him worship my feet while wearing the clamps. I kissed him and started pulling on the chain and looking into his eyes and when he least expected it I unclamped him.
For a while he thought I was a softie and was surprised that I have started to be so harsh. I opened up and explained how I have been afraid to give it my all knowing I may not ever be able to be able to be with him fully. But now things are different and he is free and I feel like I can give it my all. After explaining all this, I picked up the brand new whip he bought for us. You could smell the leather and feel the stiffness of it knowning it had never been used. I gave him ten lashes, striping his back and reminding him of his slave place. After I was done I kissed his back and lash marks, knowing that the other mistress never gave or showed him this much love.
We spent the rest of our time in embrace and kiss, knowing we have the best combination of bdsm and vanilla, and last night we grew closer and moved forward.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A long road
It has been a long while since I blogged, and for those of you who enjoy reading my blog I am sorry for being behind.
There has been a lot of new developments in my relationship that I write so fondly about. The first being that my slave, my love has left his wife. He is getting a divorce. While this is good news in the long run, it has been very difficult and trying on my patience; and if you know me at all you will know that it is not one of my strong suits. When things started moving along for us, things started falling apart for him at home. I hate that he is going through so much stress in his life, and yes my reasons are selfish. It meant that when all this drama first started happening, I did not get to spend the time with him that I would have liked. There were times I would get text messages saying "Don't call or text until I call you", When hours would pass with out me hearing from him, I would start to go stir crazy, wondering what was happening, wondering if everything was okay. That is the nurturing, mothering side of me coming out.
Finally this past week, I think things are finally settling down for him. He is no longer living with this hateful witch of a wife, he has removed his belongings from their home, and has gotten back to a normal work schedule...well sort of. I could not be more thankful for this, because I have missed him, and the time that we have spent together in the past weeks has been brief vanilla meetings, like having dinner; Not that those are bad, but our Mistress/slave relationship was falling by the wayside.
Last night we were able to talk on the phone, un-interrupted for over two hours, it was wonderful. We talked about little things, like how we both love pulpy orange juice, something I have not been able to buy in 6 years because someone in my house hates it with a passion. We talked about vanilla things, like how he says I'm not as liberal as I think I am. To which I laugh, and tell him he can spend the rest of his life trying to convince me I am not. We talked about serious things, we talked about BDSM things, like where we see our relationship going, as it is so unique because it is the best of both worlds, intertwined. He speaks of his devotion to me, and how he wants to sign a lifetime slave contract. I think it will be a beautiful moment for us when that happens.
We talked about how I want to grow as a Mistress, and be more dominant, more harsh when it is needed. How I need to think like a Mistress sometimes and not a girlfriend. And after our last few days of conversation, I finally feel like things are headed in the right direction. Like we are moving forward again.
For now this is all, I will blog again in a bit but I have a couple of online tests to take.
There has been a lot of new developments in my relationship that I write so fondly about. The first being that my slave, my love has left his wife. He is getting a divorce. While this is good news in the long run, it has been very difficult and trying on my patience; and if you know me at all you will know that it is not one of my strong suits. When things started moving along for us, things started falling apart for him at home. I hate that he is going through so much stress in his life, and yes my reasons are selfish. It meant that when all this drama first started happening, I did not get to spend the time with him that I would have liked. There were times I would get text messages saying "Don't call or text until I call you", When hours would pass with out me hearing from him, I would start to go stir crazy, wondering what was happening, wondering if everything was okay. That is the nurturing, mothering side of me coming out.
Finally this past week, I think things are finally settling down for him. He is no longer living with this hateful witch of a wife, he has removed his belongings from their home, and has gotten back to a normal work schedule...well sort of. I could not be more thankful for this, because I have missed him, and the time that we have spent together in the past weeks has been brief vanilla meetings, like having dinner; Not that those are bad, but our Mistress/slave relationship was falling by the wayside.
Last night we were able to talk on the phone, un-interrupted for over two hours, it was wonderful. We talked about little things, like how we both love pulpy orange juice, something I have not been able to buy in 6 years because someone in my house hates it with a passion. We talked about vanilla things, like how he says I'm not as liberal as I think I am. To which I laugh, and tell him he can spend the rest of his life trying to convince me I am not. We talked about serious things, we talked about BDSM things, like where we see our relationship going, as it is so unique because it is the best of both worlds, intertwined. He speaks of his devotion to me, and how he wants to sign a lifetime slave contract. I think it will be a beautiful moment for us when that happens.
We talked about how I want to grow as a Mistress, and be more dominant, more harsh when it is needed. How I need to think like a Mistress sometimes and not a girlfriend. And after our last few days of conversation, I finally feel like things are headed in the right direction. Like we are moving forward again.
For now this is all, I will blog again in a bit but I have a couple of online tests to take.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
a long time in between
So yesterday afternoon, my slave picked me up at my house for a little Monday night getaway.We haven't seen each other in a week, and we both know we won't be able to see each other until sometime next week. Talk about a shitty situation.
So we pull away from my apartment, and stop and kiss. It was hard for me to contain myself and behave, but we did, and he started driving. We talked about our day and things that happened, all while holding hands like two young teenagers.
It took about an hour to get to our destination, and he checked into the hotel and we went out for dinner. We were going to go eat Chinese food, but they were "closed on Mondays" WTF? So we found a Mexican place and shared fajitas. Just like last time we went out of town, it was nice knowing that we really didn't know anyone there. After dinner he took me shoe shopping, but my size 11 feet are hard to buy for and we left with nothing, which is okay with me.
***Disclaimer*** There will be some sexual things in the next couple of paragraphs so if it bothers you....STOP READING NOW!
So once back to the hotel room, we start kissing. Every time we see each other there is more and more passion there; it is truly amazing. Now if you have been following this blog, then you know we are not having sex yet. The way we kiss is so different from the way I've ever kissed any other man. In just a short time we have learned each others "hot spots" and know how to use them to our advantage. He knows exactly how to get me excited. Things were getting hot and heavy, well as hot and heavy as they can with out sex, when his phone rang......of course it was his wife. He goes out into the hallway to talk to her, and returns to me.
He asks me about his punishment, and I tell him that the only way he may have an orgasm is if we were to have sex. Part of me knew that this would not make a bit of difference, that we would still NOT have sex, but part of me hoped it would. There were moments last night that I thought, " I can't take this anymore" because he gets me right to that point where I am about to explode and then backs off. I think I can speak for both of us, that it is getting harder and harder for us to hold back and not have sex.
When he said we would have to go home soon, I wanted to cry. I am selfish and greedy and wanted more time. The drive home, I could bear to take my hands off of him, knowing they would not be able to touch him for more than a week. It kills me that I wont get to see him, touch him, smell him, feel him for more than a week.
I long for the April to get here, we are going on a four day trip together. No spouses, no children, no having to be home by a certain time. Just us, for four whole days. I can't wait!!!!!!
So we pull away from my apartment, and stop and kiss. It was hard for me to contain myself and behave, but we did, and he started driving. We talked about our day and things that happened, all while holding hands like two young teenagers.
It took about an hour to get to our destination, and he checked into the hotel and we went out for dinner. We were going to go eat Chinese food, but they were "closed on Mondays" WTF? So we found a Mexican place and shared fajitas. Just like last time we went out of town, it was nice knowing that we really didn't know anyone there. After dinner he took me shoe shopping, but my size 11 feet are hard to buy for and we left with nothing, which is okay with me.
***Disclaimer*** There will be some sexual things in the next couple of paragraphs so if it bothers you....STOP READING NOW!
So once back to the hotel room, we start kissing. Every time we see each other there is more and more passion there; it is truly amazing. Now if you have been following this blog, then you know we are not having sex yet. The way we kiss is so different from the way I've ever kissed any other man. In just a short time we have learned each others "hot spots" and know how to use them to our advantage. He knows exactly how to get me excited. Things were getting hot and heavy, well as hot and heavy as they can with out sex, when his phone rang......of course it was his wife. He goes out into the hallway to talk to her, and returns to me.
He asks me about his punishment, and I tell him that the only way he may have an orgasm is if we were to have sex. Part of me knew that this would not make a bit of difference, that we would still NOT have sex, but part of me hoped it would. There were moments last night that I thought, " I can't take this anymore" because he gets me right to that point where I am about to explode and then backs off. I think I can speak for both of us, that it is getting harder and harder for us to hold back and not have sex.
When he said we would have to go home soon, I wanted to cry. I am selfish and greedy and wanted more time. The drive home, I could bear to take my hands off of him, knowing they would not be able to touch him for more than a week. It kills me that I wont get to see him, touch him, smell him, feel him for more than a week.
I long for the April to get here, we are going on a four day trip together. No spouses, no children, no having to be home by a certain time. Just us, for four whole days. I can't wait!!!!!!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
update from yesterday
I just wanted to update everyone on my blog from yesterday. I talked on the phone with my slave, and we talked for a while about the misunderstanding we had the night before. While I still felt bad, he reassured me that he had no hard feelings about what had happened, and he was not avoiding me but had family around all day and could not talk. He made me feel better and by the end of the conversation he had put a smile on my sad little face.
We talked about how he had gotten "uppity", and not in the good way that I liked. He said "whatever" and that is a very touchy word for me. When it is said a certain way, all I see and hear is a mean, hateful word; something that comes out of my husbands mouth very frequently. As a slave it was totally uncalled for and disrespectful. While I understand that the boyfriend part of him took over, he needs to be reminded that I am not going to be talked to like that. I know for those of you who are not into the lifestyle this sounds totally wrong, and makes me sound like a super bitch. But before we developed our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship we had our Mistress/slave relationship. And in that relationship, I am the boss. What I say goes. So he will be punished. While he will not be whipped, he will be denied from having an orgasm until Friday of this week. That is one week from the offense.
He has planned a little get away for us this spring, and I could not be more excited. To be alone with each other for four whole days will be fantastic. Plus where we are going, I will get to see one of my best friends, which is an added bonus.
My husband thinks I am a psycho, which is always good. Well not really. I yelled at him for being an ass while he was on the phone with one of his girlfriends. So now he flat out refuses to use the phone when I am home. Whatever, they can have him for all I care. And last night when he finally got home, we fought about who he was with. While I know the open marriage was just a big giant band-aid, we had set forth some rules. He mentioned seeing his ex girlfriend. I told him that I was not comfortable with that, but I was not going to tell him who he could and could not see. So last night he went to her house and fucked her. Now he tells me that he loves me, but why would he disrespect my feelings if he loved me? I think it is because he is lying to himself. He does not want to admit that he does not love me. He loves the things I do for him, like cook dinner and clean house and take care of every thing but wiping his ass.
So enough for now, I am going to take a bath and go to bed. Good night all.
We talked about how he had gotten "uppity", and not in the good way that I liked. He said "whatever" and that is a very touchy word for me. When it is said a certain way, all I see and hear is a mean, hateful word; something that comes out of my husbands mouth very frequently. As a slave it was totally uncalled for and disrespectful. While I understand that the boyfriend part of him took over, he needs to be reminded that I am not going to be talked to like that. I know for those of you who are not into the lifestyle this sounds totally wrong, and makes me sound like a super bitch. But before we developed our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship we had our Mistress/slave relationship. And in that relationship, I am the boss. What I say goes. So he will be punished. While he will not be whipped, he will be denied from having an orgasm until Friday of this week. That is one week from the offense.
He has planned a little get away for us this spring, and I could not be more excited. To be alone with each other for four whole days will be fantastic. Plus where we are going, I will get to see one of my best friends, which is an added bonus.
My husband thinks I am a psycho, which is always good. Well not really. I yelled at him for being an ass while he was on the phone with one of his girlfriends. So now he flat out refuses to use the phone when I am home. Whatever, they can have him for all I care. And last night when he finally got home, we fought about who he was with. While I know the open marriage was just a big giant band-aid, we had set forth some rules. He mentioned seeing his ex girlfriend. I told him that I was not comfortable with that, but I was not going to tell him who he could and could not see. So last night he went to her house and fucked her. Now he tells me that he loves me, but why would he disrespect my feelings if he loved me? I think it is because he is lying to himself. He does not want to admit that he does not love me. He loves the things I do for him, like cook dinner and clean house and take care of every thing but wiping his ass.
So enough for now, I am going to take a bath and go to bed. Good night all.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Sadness
Today I feel very lonely. After the little disagreement that my slave and I had yesterday, I feel very distant from him. I know its the weekend and I don't get to hear from him as often as I do during the week; but I just have this sense that something is wrong. It is driving me crazy that I don't know whats wrong.
I just feel alone. Tonight of all nights I am alone. Tears roll down my cheeks as I write. I just want to crawl into bed and curl up and sleep.
I hate this feeling, I want it to stop.
I just feel alone. Tonight of all nights I am alone. Tears roll down my cheeks as I write. I just want to crawl into bed and curl up and sleep.
I hate this feeling, I want it to stop.
A learning experince
I have been in such a toxic relationship for so long, that I am having to re-learn some things. While as a Mistress/slave owner you do not have to answer to anyone, you do as you please and use your slave as you please.
But since my slave and I have both a mistress/slave relationship and a vanilla one, normal rules do not always apply. Last night I went out alone and I decided I wanted to get a tattoo, something on my foot. I would have never thought to get one on my foot before, but I have a new appreciation for my feet and how sexy they are. I thought it would be sexy to get three little stars on my foot. I was being very selfish, doing something that I wanted to do. I did not even think of how it would affect my slave. He begged me to wait until he could come with me. We had our first girlfriend/boyfriend moment, and I felt very bad for upsetting him, and not thinking of him, not thinking that he would want to be with me. I was very selfish and for that I am sorry. But here are some pics.....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
If you like my blog....
My slave, my love was inspired by my blog and decided to create one of his own, if you are interested in reading it here is the link:
http://reflectionsofafootslave.blogspot.com/
http://reflectionsofafootslave.blogspot.com/
A new me
If this blog wasn't supposed to be anonymous I would post a picture of my new hair do. Its great, its black with hot pink in the front and some blond streaks in the back. **sigh** the price of being mysterious.
My slave has seen pics of it, and me on web cam; but I can't wait for him to see it in person. Well I can't wait to see him. This whole not seeing him while he is away is so hard. I love that he created a profile so he can comment on my blog.
I long to hear his voice, to feel his touch. I even miss him getting uppity with me. But not being able to see each other does have it's benefits. When we do see each other we are both filled with such passion that it is hard to control ourselves. One of these times, I am going to take a vacation and just go with him on one of his trips. No distractions from the family life, just us. It would be amazing.
The last time we were together I whipped him. To some that seems a bit extreme, but it has only brought us closer together in our D/s relationship. The fact that for several days he could feel the lashes on his back was a constant reminder of me. It has bonded us like nothing else has.
My slave has seen pics of it, and me on web cam; but I can't wait for him to see it in person. Well I can't wait to see him. This whole not seeing him while he is away is so hard. I love that he created a profile so he can comment on my blog.
I long to hear his voice, to feel his touch. I even miss him getting uppity with me. But not being able to see each other does have it's benefits. When we do see each other we are both filled with such passion that it is hard to control ourselves. One of these times, I am going to take a vacation and just go with him on one of his trips. No distractions from the family life, just us. It would be amazing.
The last time we were together I whipped him. To some that seems a bit extreme, but it has only brought us closer together in our D/s relationship. The fact that for several days he could feel the lashes on his back was a constant reminder of me. It has bonded us like nothing else has.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Missing You
Its Wednesday, and I can't wait for the week to be over with. I have no motivation today, but I am forcing myself to at least blog, as it requires less physical effort than cleaning the house or doing the laundry.
Yesterday I did not get to see my love, he had to spend the majority of the afternoon getting a tire repaired and then had to head out of town for work. Normally I get to see him before he leaves, but because of the tire issue I did not. He will be gone until Friday, I like when he travels because we can talk as much as we want on the phone, which is always a plus. But the downside is obvious; he is not here. He will not be coming home until Friday, and then there is the weekend. Knowing that there is a possibility that I may or may not see him until Monday of next week is really, really frustrating.
Its moments like this morning that make me wish that we were together. It is raining outside, and I am physically exhausted. Every inch of my body aches, and all I want to do is climb back in bed. I long for him to be here with me; for him to slip under the covers and hold each other while it rains.
Last night when I went out with my friend, I thought of him. When I picked out a new piece of lingerie, I dreamed of a special occasion to wear it. Even though we are still not having sex, I thought of him ripping this new thing off of me and worshiping my body. **sigh** I just miss him, he is all I have been thinking about.
Yesterday I did not get to see my love, he had to spend the majority of the afternoon getting a tire repaired and then had to head out of town for work. Normally I get to see him before he leaves, but because of the tire issue I did not. He will be gone until Friday, I like when he travels because we can talk as much as we want on the phone, which is always a plus. But the downside is obvious; he is not here. He will not be coming home until Friday, and then there is the weekend. Knowing that there is a possibility that I may or may not see him until Monday of next week is really, really frustrating.
Its moments like this morning that make me wish that we were together. It is raining outside, and I am physically exhausted. Every inch of my body aches, and all I want to do is climb back in bed. I long for him to be here with me; for him to slip under the covers and hold each other while it rains.
Last night when I went out with my friend, I thought of him. When I picked out a new piece of lingerie, I dreamed of a special occasion to wear it. Even though we are still not having sex, I thought of him ripping this new thing off of me and worshiping my body. **sigh** I just miss him, he is all I have been thinking about.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A long night
Last night was one of the longest night's I have had in quite some time. My husband and I talked and talked. We realize that our problems run so deep that there might not be any hope in fixing them. My dear slave, please understand; he and I would have had these issues had you been in the picture or not.
My husband, while I do not love him, is a good man. He told me last night that he wants me to finish school. That we can stay together until I finish, and then if things are still the same we can get a divorce. While he says this, I am still a bit leery of this proposition. Of course he said this in a drunken stupor last night, and when he has been drinking he is very, very lovey. He tried to cuddle me, kiss me, and such. Its very hard for me to let him do so.
On the pleasant side, my love, my slave came to visit yesterday afternoon. Every time we are together the amount of passion we have surprises me. When I am with him, I feel truly alive. Like I have a purpose besides my children. He would do anything for me, and I love that about him.
I received an email on CM, it brightened my day to know that someone is reading this besides my slave and best friends. To know someone else is going through some similar things.
Tonight I am going with a friend to the local sex shop...... :) I am excited at the prospect of new toys, whips and what not.
My husband, while I do not love him, is a good man. He told me last night that he wants me to finish school. That we can stay together until I finish, and then if things are still the same we can get a divorce. While he says this, I am still a bit leery of this proposition. Of course he said this in a drunken stupor last night, and when he has been drinking he is very, very lovey. He tried to cuddle me, kiss me, and such. Its very hard for me to let him do so.
On the pleasant side, my love, my slave came to visit yesterday afternoon. Every time we are together the amount of passion we have surprises me. When I am with him, I feel truly alive. Like I have a purpose besides my children. He would do anything for me, and I love that about him.
I received an email on CM, it brightened my day to know that someone is reading this besides my slave and best friends. To know someone else is going through some similar things.
Tonight I am going with a friend to the local sex shop...... :) I am excited at the prospect of new toys, whips and what not.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Living a lie
I feel like most days, that I am living a lie with my husband. We pretend to be this happy couple, when we are really not. We ignore that problems that we have and continue living life like nothing was wrong.
I honestly do not know how much longer I can go on like this. Last night when he asked what was on my mind, I told him some of the things that I have been feeling. That I was young, and because of my lack of relationship skills I made decisions without being fully aware of the ramifications. That I was in love with the idea of being in love, that I was in love with the attention that he gave me, and I thought that he loved me because of sex. Lets just say he was not happy with what I told him. He wants to talk later, and I pray that we work somethings out. I honestly do not know what I want with him and from him.
Part of me feels trapped because I have stayed at home for so long that getting a real job will be difficult and would require that I quit school. The conundrum lies in that if I quit school I will never be able to get a good job, and I can not go to school full time if we separate.
While I love my slave, I know that there is no guarantee that we will be together in the way would hope to be, and right now I am okay with that. But who knows how I will feel if things happen and my husband and I are not together. **sigh** I am sitting outside watching the kids ride their bikes, and feeling like there may never be the happy ending that I would love to have.
I honestly do not know how much longer I can go on like this. Last night when he asked what was on my mind, I told him some of the things that I have been feeling. That I was young, and because of my lack of relationship skills I made decisions without being fully aware of the ramifications. That I was in love with the idea of being in love, that I was in love with the attention that he gave me, and I thought that he loved me because of sex. Lets just say he was not happy with what I told him. He wants to talk later, and I pray that we work somethings out. I honestly do not know what I want with him and from him.
Part of me feels trapped because I have stayed at home for so long that getting a real job will be difficult and would require that I quit school. The conundrum lies in that if I quit school I will never be able to get a good job, and I can not go to school full time if we separate.
While I love my slave, I know that there is no guarantee that we will be together in the way would hope to be, and right now I am okay with that. But who knows how I will feel if things happen and my husband and I are not together. **sigh** I am sitting outside watching the kids ride their bikes, and feeling like there may never be the happy ending that I would love to have.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
just some thoughts
The weekends are terribly hard on us; its very hard for him to get away. He is not in an open relationship like I am (if you want to call it that). His wife, to put it mildly is a crazy bitch and has been up his ass this weekend; which means we don't get to talk much. I have felt so lonely, I get spoiled during the week with the constant texts and phone calls and when the weekend gets here its cut in half.
Even though he is married too, he would rather lick the dirt of my nasty feet, than be with his wife.
I took the kids to the zoo, and my husband opted to spend time with one of his girlfriends. It makes me just a tad bit angry that we come in second to him. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking to myself what a good time we would have, if it were my children and I along with my slave and his child. I kept hoping that he would get in an awful fight with his wife so he could come and see me today. I know it makes me seem like a evil, cold bitch; But I know he feels the same exact way.
Now I am back home, and my husband too his girlfriend back home; So basically we have spent the whole day apart and honestly I could care less about him. To him we are always second choice to a fuck.
Even though he is married too, he would rather lick the dirt of my nasty feet, than be with his wife.
I took the kids to the zoo, and my husband opted to spend time with one of his girlfriends. It makes me just a tad bit angry that we come in second to him. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking to myself what a good time we would have, if it were my children and I along with my slave and his child. I kept hoping that he would get in an awful fight with his wife so he could come and see me today. I know it makes me seem like a evil, cold bitch; But I know he feels the same exact way.
Now I am back home, and my husband too his girlfriend back home; So basically we have spent the whole day apart and honestly I could care less about him. To him we are always second choice to a fuck.
Friday, February 6, 2009
a little worship
Any day I get to see my slave is a great day. Although our time together always goes by so fast, and today was no exception.
Normally he comes over during the kids nap time, so we can be alone. But today things didn't happen that way and he could not come over until later in the afternoon. It was different having my kids around. He is so patient, with them around. I am trying very careful of what my children see, they do not need to see mommy kissing some other man, and they especially do not need to see any D/s scenes. With that said they do know him, they call him by his first name even. Like I said, he is patient with them, playing ball with them. It was very different from the normal atmosphere at home. Usually when the kids play like that with my husband around, well lets just say he is more concerned with what is on his laptop or the tv.
We did get a few sweet kisses, and a tiny bit of foot worship; But like I said any day I get to see him, is a great day.
He loves, I mean LOVES to take pictures of my feet. So I thought I would share a few. I had never considered my feet to be a sexy part of my body, but now I do.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
the last catch up blog, I swear!
Okay this should be the last blog that is past happenings. also *** warning*** this does contain some sexual information so if it bothers you stop reading.
Last night was another night of firsts for me. I am so used to jumping into bed with someone, and not doing so has been a learning experience for sure.
I was a bad girl and skipped class, so I could spend time with my slave. We met up at a hotel, and started the evening off with lots of kissing. I love kissing him, its like it sends sparks through my whole body. And then with out notice he grabbed my hair and flipped me over onto my stomach. It made my heart race with excitement. If you have never had a sensual spanking, you don't know what you are missing! It was so amazing, he knows just how to do it, and I swear every time he does it, he is able to spank a little harder and harder. Sometimes I want to stop him just because I can. I know with one snap of my fingers he would be at my feet, But I enjoy the spanking so much I can never bring myself to end it. When it was over you could feel the heat radiating from my ass. It's a wonderful feeling.
We have been taking things very slowly. For some the thought of being spanked like that is not slow. We are not having sex right now, he and I both know that once we do, there is no turning back. Especially for him, because he is NOT in an open relationship. But also he has some past issues he is trying to work through. And since my epiphany, I am really ok with not having sex. I think that is the first time I have ever said that, lol.
But then he got really uppity after spanking me, and grabbed my hair and told me to suck his dick. It turned me on, made my heart race with excitement. But he just wanted to see my reaction which was shock since we had just had a conversation about not being ready two nights before. It was kinda funny actually, my initial reaction. We laughed with each other until our pizza got delievered.
One a side note, I love pizza and I love college sports, football is my first favorite, then basketball. Well while we were eating he handed me the remote and I put it on espn to watch the Duke Clemson game while eating. I love that he thought it was totally hot that I picked that to watch, while eating pizza like a guy! And we ordered a great pizza with all the toppings minus the olives, something I can never do at home.
We laid in bed for awhile after eating just holding each other and kissing and talking about something he read off of facebook, which was my concert experiences. I know at least one person reading this has been to all those concerts with me...lol, but there were lots of laughs at the groups I have seen in concert. Then he broke out his iPod and the next thing I know, I was listening to Enigma.
That was the most erotic, most sensual non sex moment I have ever had in my life. He left me laying on the bed while listening to Enigma. All I could hear was the music while he worshiped my feet. The passion he had while doing that was amazing. Lets just say, it made me want to have sex very badly. Then he would climb ontop of me and kiss me like I have never been kissed before in my life. Then he would make his way back down to my feet while kissing my stomach on the way back down. Over and over this happend, had it gone on much longer I would have had an orgasm. TMI? lol I warned you didn't I! (You knew exactly what you were doing didn't you?) Then he commented that it would be great to get a spanking to the same music, and I agreed and took another spanking. I went home high, I swear. I didnt want to leave either. It left me craving his touch.
And because he was so good to me, I rewarded him, like any Mistress would reward their slave. I gave him a free pass for the rest of his time in that hotel room. He was allowed to please himself as often as he wanted.
I never knew not having sex could be so amazing. The bond that we are developing, the way we can have a night with multiple things going on, they way we both have grown comfortable around each other. I don't believe I have ever felt this with another person in my life.
Today he told me "We have more intensity in five seconds, than you have had in five years."
And you know what? He is right.
Last night was another night of firsts for me. I am so used to jumping into bed with someone, and not doing so has been a learning experience for sure.
I was a bad girl and skipped class, so I could spend time with my slave. We met up at a hotel, and started the evening off with lots of kissing. I love kissing him, its like it sends sparks through my whole body. And then with out notice he grabbed my hair and flipped me over onto my stomach. It made my heart race with excitement. If you have never had a sensual spanking, you don't know what you are missing! It was so amazing, he knows just how to do it, and I swear every time he does it, he is able to spank a little harder and harder. Sometimes I want to stop him just because I can. I know with one snap of my fingers he would be at my feet, But I enjoy the spanking so much I can never bring myself to end it. When it was over you could feel the heat radiating from my ass. It's a wonderful feeling.
We have been taking things very slowly. For some the thought of being spanked like that is not slow. We are not having sex right now, he and I both know that once we do, there is no turning back. Especially for him, because he is NOT in an open relationship. But also he has some past issues he is trying to work through. And since my epiphany, I am really ok with not having sex. I think that is the first time I have ever said that, lol.
But then he got really uppity after spanking me, and grabbed my hair and told me to suck his dick. It turned me on, made my heart race with excitement. But he just wanted to see my reaction which was shock since we had just had a conversation about not being ready two nights before. It was kinda funny actually, my initial reaction. We laughed with each other until our pizza got delievered.
One a side note, I love pizza and I love college sports, football is my first favorite, then basketball. Well while we were eating he handed me the remote and I put it on espn to watch the Duke Clemson game while eating. I love that he thought it was totally hot that I picked that to watch, while eating pizza like a guy! And we ordered a great pizza with all the toppings minus the olives, something I can never do at home.
We laid in bed for awhile after eating just holding each other and kissing and talking about something he read off of facebook, which was my concert experiences. I know at least one person reading this has been to all those concerts with me...lol, but there were lots of laughs at the groups I have seen in concert. Then he broke out his iPod and the next thing I know, I was listening to Enigma.
That was the most erotic, most sensual non sex moment I have ever had in my life. He left me laying on the bed while listening to Enigma. All I could hear was the music while he worshiped my feet. The passion he had while doing that was amazing. Lets just say, it made me want to have sex very badly. Then he would climb ontop of me and kiss me like I have never been kissed before in my life. Then he would make his way back down to my feet while kissing my stomach on the way back down. Over and over this happend, had it gone on much longer I would have had an orgasm. TMI? lol I warned you didn't I! (You knew exactly what you were doing didn't you?) Then he commented that it would be great to get a spanking to the same music, and I agreed and took another spanking. I went home high, I swear. I didnt want to leave either. It left me craving his touch.
And because he was so good to me, I rewarded him, like any Mistress would reward their slave. I gave him a free pass for the rest of his time in that hotel room. He was allowed to please himself as often as he wanted.
I never knew not having sex could be so amazing. The bond that we are developing, the way we can have a night with multiple things going on, they way we both have grown comfortable around each other. I don't believe I have ever felt this with another person in my life.
Today he told me "We have more intensity in five seconds, than you have had in five years."
And you know what? He is right.
a lot of catching up to do,
So I posted earlier with a bit of back story. I wanted to transfer a previous blog entry from another site, but here I can add more to it, and tell more of the story. I have some catching up to do, so I can blog about things that are currently happening.
Monday night, my slave and I went out of town for the evening. It was wonderful, I have always loved road trips for one. Being in the car with someone you are close to and listening to music and letting the conversation go where ever it may.
We went to dinner at a chain restaurant, and we talked and talked. Mainly about our respective spouses and the problems we face with them. Like ordering an appetizer brought up the comment by me that when I eat certain foods my husband tells me, "Don't get near me, you smell like you have been eating ass." We laughed and talked about how it was nonsense, and made sure to kiss after our dinner just because we could, and neither of us would be offended by the others breath. Its funny how sometimes the simplest of things will please you.
When we got to our hotel we switched from having a vanilla date to our D/s time. Even though he is my slave, I have given him certain freedoms that most Domme's would never allow. I He is allowed to act "uppity" as I like to call it, and get a little Dominant. He can pull my hair and spank me if the mood is right, and I ultimately have control of it continues or stops (secretly I think he likes it). After he got uppity with me, he was required to worship my feet, and before we knew it, it was time for us to leave so I could be back home when I had promised.
We had amazing conversation on the way home, and we told each other stories of our past. I learned a good bit about him, and he learned a lot about me. About how self-conscious I am, How I never dated anyone in high school, how despite having friends I still felt lonely. I even told him somethings that I am still ashamed of, the ways I tried to fill the void, the loneliness I had.
After dropping me off, I met one of my husbands many girlfriends. I was not impressed, lets say he does not aim too high. After he left to take her home, I called my slave and we continued our conversation right were we left off. The things he said made sense. It was like someone had turned on the light for the very first time. Deep down I knew the truth but didn't trust anyone enough to say it, or share it. I hid from it, and buried it deep inside of me. So the next morning I got up and wrote the following blog on another site:
I just realized I am writing a blog
What is love? I actually looked up the definition, and was
A new friend and I had the most
The first that, sex does not equal intimacy.
The second thing I learned is that Love puts others first. When you truly love someone, you will aim to sacrifice and put everything you have into making them happy. I use the
word aim, because we are all human and let’s face it, we are selfish people by
The third thing I learned is that people
Okay because of where I posted that blog I left somethings out that I would now like to share.
I think that I married my husband because I was afraid that no one would want me like he did. Yes I was in love, but it wasn't totally real, I think that sex clouded that. I am happy that I have my beautiful children, but I shouldn't have married him. I should have learned what love is before getting married.
This said you live and learn through your mistakes. Since having this epiphany, many friends have come forward and said "We didn't want to tell you, but we thought you were making a mistake."
I am hitting the high points to catch up to the present time, and prolly one more blog will do it. I will leave you with a quote from the my slave, friend, and love.
"People say they are making love, but you can't MAKE love, it better already be there."
Its amazing, because our relationship is not based upon sex, and never will be. And I have never experienced that.
Monday night, my slave and I went out of town for the evening. It was wonderful, I have always loved road trips for one. Being in the car with someone you are close to and listening to music and letting the conversation go where ever it may.
We went to dinner at a chain restaurant, and we talked and talked. Mainly about our respective spouses and the problems we face with them. Like ordering an appetizer brought up the comment by me that when I eat certain foods my husband tells me, "Don't get near me, you smell like you have been eating ass." We laughed and talked about how it was nonsense, and made sure to kiss after our dinner just because we could, and neither of us would be offended by the others breath. Its funny how sometimes the simplest of things will please you.
When we got to our hotel we switched from having a vanilla date to our D/s time. Even though he is my slave, I have given him certain freedoms that most Domme's would never allow. I He is allowed to act "uppity" as I like to call it, and get a little Dominant. He can pull my hair and spank me if the mood is right, and I ultimately have control of it continues or stops (secretly I think he likes it). After he got uppity with me, he was required to worship my feet, and before we knew it, it was time for us to leave so I could be back home when I had promised.
We had amazing conversation on the way home, and we told each other stories of our past. I learned a good bit about him, and he learned a lot about me. About how self-conscious I am, How I never dated anyone in high school, how despite having friends I still felt lonely. I even told him somethings that I am still ashamed of, the ways I tried to fill the void, the loneliness I had.
After dropping me off, I met one of my husbands many girlfriends. I was not impressed, lets say he does not aim too high. After he left to take her home, I called my slave and we continued our conversation right were we left off. The things he said made sense. It was like someone had turned on the light for the very first time. Deep down I knew the truth but didn't trust anyone enough to say it, or share it. I hid from it, and buried it deep inside of me. So the next morning I got up and wrote the following blog on another site:
I just realized I am writing a blog
about love, V-Day is coming up on us, But that is not why I am writing. The
reason I am writing about love is that I have been doing a lot of thinking on
this subject, and people that are close to me know why. I am sorry if you are
just a reader, but for safety purposes I can’t say much more about my situation.....
What is love? I actually looked up the definition, and was
quite surprised. LOVE: a feeling of strong or constant regard for and dedication to
someone. ....
A new friend and I had the most
amazing conversation about love, and about me and my past and the mistakes that
I have made. Here are a few things that I have learned.....
The first that, sex does not equal intimacy.
Yes, sex is great, it’s fantastic BUT I, like so many people didn’t realize
that you can have intimacy with out having sex. Intimacy stems from love, the
warm fuzzies that you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are laying in
someone’s arms, with no expectations and no pressures and you have the freedom
to just be. To let go of all your
insecurities and feel totally at ease with yourself and the person you are
with. Love must equal intimacy to make
sex an intimate act. Other wise sex is just sex. ....
The second thing I learned is that Love puts others first. When you truly love someone, you will aim to sacrifice and put everything you have into making them happy. I use the
word aim, because we are all human and let’s face it, we are selfish people by
nature and from time to time, we are going to think of only ourselves. How is
this going to help me? How will this make me look? You know exactly what I
mean. But if you strive to put the other person in your relationship first, then
you are truly giving of yourself and expressing love. However the flip side is
that the other person in the relationship has to aim for the same thing. There
is a perfect-ness; a balance that two people can have when they are both truly
in this selfless state.....
The third thing I learned is that people
(and yes I include my self in here) who use sex as a form of intimacy, with out
having that foundation of love, and have never been put first will be lonely. And they will seek to fill that void they
feel.....
Okay because of where I posted that blog I left somethings out that I would now like to share.I think that I married my husband because I was afraid that no one would want me like he did. Yes I was in love, but it wasn't totally real, I think that sex clouded that. I am happy that I have my beautiful children, but I shouldn't have married him. I should have learned what love is before getting married.
This said you live and learn through your mistakes. Since having this epiphany, many friends have come forward and said "We didn't want to tell you, but we thought you were making a mistake."
I am hitting the high points to catch up to the present time, and prolly one more blog will do it. I will leave you with a quote from the my slave, friend, and love.
"People say they are making love, but you can't MAKE love, it better already be there."
Its amazing, because our relationship is not based upon sex, and never will be. And I have never experienced that.
Who am I, and a bit of back story
If you have stumbled across this blog, then you are probably wondering who I am. I am a Mistress to a devoted footslave. . I created this blog to write about my experiences with my slave and the feelings I have, and sometimes even the personal growth that I am experiencing. This blog is my reflections, and my private release of my struggles in this life I lead.
Yes I know its complicated, so I am going to give you some backround info on me.
I have always been interested in the D/s lifestyle, but when I got married some years ago I put it aside, as my husband was not interested in participating at all. We had children, and I started falling out of love with him. We fight constantly, we are now just two people living together for the sake of our children. We both decided to open our marriage, and I promise it wasn't for the right reasons. It was like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. Eventually things will have to come to an end.
I finally met someone who was into the D/s lifestyle, and it was great having someone who understood what I was missing in my life. He gave me several great experiences as a sub, but quickly switched on me, and I found myself being in the uncomfortable position of being a Domme. At first I was very unsure, but I soon started to get into it and take control. Every day I grew more and more as a Domme, realizing that I myself am a switch. I am a Domme who has a few sub tendencies. I only got to see this man once a month or sometimes once every two months; but he sent me to a great website for the D/s lifestyle and soon started looking for someone. I got tons of emails from lots of crazies...... but finally this one stumbled into my inbox:
Hello Ma'am,
I know you have a sub, but would you condsider a footboy / whipping boy / house slave with no strings attached? You are beautiful and I would love to be your footboy and slave. could we at least speak?
We talked for a while online, and I eventually decided that this was someone I wanted to meet. They had so much more experience in the lifestyle than I did. I had never had a foot slave, and wasn't sure if this is what I wanted. In the vanilla world, this man would have not been my type, but something pulled me to him.
So we met one day for some light foot worship, it was nothing like I thought it would be. It was better, it was erotic, it was sensual, it was different. I had scenes with subs but never with a slave. He was so afraid to look at me, his last mistress would have beaten him for such a thing. When the foot worship was over, I gave him a hug, not sure what to do and gave him a quick kiss, something else his previous owner would have beaten him for.
We met again, just for a bit a few nights later and drove around in his car and just talked. I needed to get to know him. To me being in the D/s lifestyle is about trust and you have to get to know the person you are going to be playing with. The more we talked the more I wanted to be with him, the more I wanted him as my slave, and as my friend.
Things quickly progressed and our relationship changed, our play time quickly changed. Some people in the lifestyle would scoff saying that he is Topping from the Bottom, but I don't care. It takes some time to get to know what each other likes, and sometimes that is the best way to figure that out. Before I knew it we were having vanilla dates as well as our D/s scenes. We were both quickly falling in love. We are in love with each other. So this blog is dedicated to all of the feelings and the things that are happening in my life that sometime are confusing, sometimes amazing, and sometimes strange.
As I write this, I have to laugh about the whole "no strings attached footslave". I had no idea this would ever happen like it has.
Yes I know its complicated, so I am going to give you some backround info on me.
I have always been interested in the D/s lifestyle, but when I got married some years ago I put it aside, as my husband was not interested in participating at all. We had children, and I started falling out of love with him. We fight constantly, we are now just two people living together for the sake of our children. We both decided to open our marriage, and I promise it wasn't for the right reasons. It was like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. Eventually things will have to come to an end.
I finally met someone who was into the D/s lifestyle, and it was great having someone who understood what I was missing in my life. He gave me several great experiences as a sub, but quickly switched on me, and I found myself being in the uncomfortable position of being a Domme. At first I was very unsure, but I soon started to get into it and take control. Every day I grew more and more as a Domme, realizing that I myself am a switch. I am a Domme who has a few sub tendencies. I only got to see this man once a month or sometimes once every two months; but he sent me to a great website for the D/s lifestyle and soon started looking for someone. I got tons of emails from lots of crazies...... but finally this one stumbled into my inbox:
Hello Ma'am,
I know you have a sub, but would you condsider a footboy / whipping boy / house slave with no strings attached? You are beautiful and I would love to be your footboy and slave. could we at least speak?
We talked for a while online, and I eventually decided that this was someone I wanted to meet. They had so much more experience in the lifestyle than I did. I had never had a foot slave, and wasn't sure if this is what I wanted. In the vanilla world, this man would have not been my type, but something pulled me to him.
So we met one day for some light foot worship, it was nothing like I thought it would be. It was better, it was erotic, it was sensual, it was different. I had scenes with subs but never with a slave. He was so afraid to look at me, his last mistress would have beaten him for such a thing. When the foot worship was over, I gave him a hug, not sure what to do and gave him a quick kiss, something else his previous owner would have beaten him for.
We met again, just for a bit a few nights later and drove around in his car and just talked. I needed to get to know him. To me being in the D/s lifestyle is about trust and you have to get to know the person you are going to be playing with. The more we talked the more I wanted to be with him, the more I wanted him as my slave, and as my friend.
Things quickly progressed and our relationship changed, our play time quickly changed. Some people in the lifestyle would scoff saying that he is Topping from the Bottom, but I don't care. It takes some time to get to know what each other likes, and sometimes that is the best way to figure that out. Before I knew it we were having vanilla dates as well as our D/s scenes. We were both quickly falling in love. We are in love with each other. So this blog is dedicated to all of the feelings and the things that are happening in my life that sometime are confusing, sometimes amazing, and sometimes strange.
As I write this, I have to laugh about the whole "no strings attached footslave". I had no idea this would ever happen like it has.
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